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[Jason doesn't even react. He listens, he takes mental note of what Loki can actually do, but he doesn't allow himself much of a reaction. The fact that he uses present (Sleeping, not slept) doesn't escape Jason.

Eventually:]

I've stabbed a 10 year old. Left one member of my family to bleed out and nearly killed them, more than once. Tortured men, left them to starve and let their corpse to rot. Kidnapped many, many people. I've seriously lost count. I was the main drug lord in Gotham, controlling the underground and all their sales. I got hold of a girl who'd just seen her father get murdered and had been disfigured herself and convinced her I was her only friend simply so I could have my own particular Robin. And so on and so forth.

And I'd do most of it again, because I still think that someone needed to grab Gotham's villains by the balls and the job fell on my shoulders.

[He shrugs. The food is already slashed into incredibly small pieces but he keeps on going.]

So no, I don't know your past. Hard to know, since it'd involve literal centuries. You don't know my past either because I clam up like it's my job. But you made me happy. So why don't you tell me what you need?

[ Similarly, Loki takes mental notes on default as Jason reels off his crimes. He can't help it. Slotting people into boxes and cataloging useful abilities, noteworthy actions, it's all rote habit to the point of being ingrained from birth (is he scared of Jason? No). It's in his nature to stir things up once in a while with information. In a disjointed, distant way, he feels sorry for him. The pity party currently being thrown is subdued and tired on all accounts, however, and not something he wishes to turn into a Best Of Fuck Ups edition at length, so he considers what he does crave and discovers it makes him feel no better.

With his gaze fixed on the middle-distance, his palate sours. ]

I need you to trust me.

[ Not throw me away. ]

[Jason reaches to rub the bridge of his nose. His patience is usually very very short as it is, by his own standards he's been incredibly patient with Loki. But right now he just feels... really tired all of a sudden. Of all this. Like he's been fighting a battle for too long and doesn't remember why it started in the first place.]

How many people do you think are allowed inside my apartment? How many people do you think have seen me shirtless, or fucked me? How many people do you think I'm comfortable enough to turn my back at them like I just did? I came to your room, over and over, knowing it made it easy for people to pinpoint my location but I trusted you enough to set a routine.

I do trust you where it matters.

None of it matters if you're going to leave me. [ He doesn't mean to snap, or perhaps he does but he feels guilty for it and can't help it all the same. ] I've been here longer than most. Do you know how many times it took for people to vanish without warning before anyone demanded an explanation? I had to threaten the representatives with skewering by sword. People come and go like leaves in the wind, I don't need you to toss me aside if you're not even going to do me the courtesy of going back to your own universe.

[ The rant is more heartfelt and upset than logical; it's difficult for him to sort through such potent emotions, guilt and betrayal warring together while tinged by loss. Loki resettles with a carefully stony expression, arms folding and a leg crossing over so that his body language closes off entirely. ]

If you'd slept with any of my brothers, I would have felt like shit too but I wouldn't have thrown you away. Fuck you and your inferiority complex, Jason Todd. Who doesn't have one?

[He'll take that hit. He deserves it. He's fully aware of his relationship with Dick and his feelings about him. Being aware of it doesn't mean he's going to change it any time soon, but he figures it's a step in the right direction even if it's the only step he'll ever take. So he doesn't even argue the point because he has no argument against it.

But he squints when he accuses of leaving him nonetheless.]

Am I supposed to pretend you didn't leave me first? Or that you didn't lie to me, twice? Is that what's going on here? At least you knew why I needed the space. You made me feel like shit, but I forgave you when you made a mistake.

[Which is... Jason basically admitting he made one. But that's the hard thing about having a conversation with him, everything is wrapped up in code.]

I didn't leave you, I pushed you away so that I could work on helping you. I would have explained it later if you hadn't stalked me all the way to the catacombs.

[ As for the lying, well. That's just how Loki finds it best to operate, from the greyscale. He can't change that and won't apologise for lying, not again after having repeatedly reminded Jason he's probably the worst person to be around in that regard.

Green eyes flick over to him as Loki picks up on the not-confession. ]

You'll go into paroxysms of anxiety if you ever see me within twenty feet of Dick.

Edited 2016-02-16 01:35 (UTC)

[Jason bites his tongue, because they have already had that argument. Loki said he'd stay away from his family, that Jason was what mattered and not the soap opera that is his clan. And so far he's kept his word.]

I've told you to go sleep with him already so stop fucking insulting me like this. You want me to trust you but you treat me like a fucking infant who doesn't know what he wants. Do you think you staying away from Dick when you're basically vibrating with want because you're feeling sorry for poor poor Jason me makes me feel any better?

You say you get it, but you really fucking don't.

I'm here, dressed up for you, making this effort for you. It's you, Jason.

[ If he couldn't emphasise that enough already, he widens his eyes. ]

Don't tell me what or who I want.

You're the one who told me you wanted to sleep with him again. And if you hate that so much why don't you stop telling me what will give me anxiety while we're at it. [It's not a growl, but it's pretty close.]

Of course I'll be jealous. But I can take jealousy. Don't you get it? Can you stop trying to be the bigger person for a second and fucking listen? I live knowing I failed and he's better than me every single second of my life. If I had to push away every person that would rather sleep with Dick Grayson I wouldn't get laid, ever.

But I'm not going to take pity.

[ Rising from his seat, impatient and exasperated, he steps over to slide his fingers through Jason's hair and coax him to look up. It's closer than they have been in a while and the sensation of those red locks slipping through Loki's fingers brings back vivid memories that simmer with want ...

But all he does is perch his ass on the edge of the table to accommodate his height and try to find eye-contact. ]

Jason, look at me. Please?

[Jason's fingers are around his knife in a second, knuckles white from how hard he's holding it. But he doesn't move, doesn't pull away, simply lets Loki do his thing. Because he's just tired of a conversation that runs in circles, he's tired of repeating himself over and over. He knows he's being stubborn, he's fully aware. But it's like a rock rolling down the hill, he's pretty much unable to stop himself from lashing out.

It's the eyes that do it, for Jason. Having those green eyes piercing into him again, his face so close if he would just lean in. He wants to look away, look anywhere else but he maintains eye contact.]

I'm looking.

[ Noticing the way one of Jason's hands slips out of sight doesn't deter Loki in the slightest. Whether shot or stabbed, Jason would be fast enough to get it over and done with, at this range, before even a godling could pull away.

He slides in front of Jason's seat to perch on the table, legs loosely straddling the outside of the chair. ]

You are my first choice, Jason, I would have you at my back before any of your brothers. [ Green eyes crinkle with a wry smile, tired of fighting. He tweaks ginger hair. ] The same goes for having you anywhere else before them, too.

[Jason closes his eyes. It's like a hit to the chest, but he takes a deep breath through his nose instead of wincing in pain and lashing out. He's pretty sure it hurts because part of him can't ever bring himself to believe it, but he's done with that. He's just tired of pushing Loki away when there's no reason, tired of missing him, tired of the passive aggressiveness that has taken over one of the purest things he'd found in Eudio.

He still wishes Loki didn't think he was forbidden to sleep with Dick just for Jason. But that doesn't seem to be sinking in and Jason is tired of repeating it, tired of basically pushing Loki towards Dick. He doesn't understand why Loki would pick him, but he decides that it doesn't matter anymore.

Because he'll trust him, once more.]

And you are mine. [He opens his eyes again, because this is ridiculous.] Can I kiss you now?

I thought you'd never ask.

[ He slides off the table and right into Jason's lap, straddling him comfortably as arms drape around his host's shoulders. A crisp shirt strains as Loki does so, his pants weren't made for this; but at least it shows off what Jason has been missing lately. ]

Red Riding Hood.

[ Ha ha. There is a deeply satisfied ball that settles in the pit of his stomach to once more be in Jason's arms. Here is a man that Loki would try to save if this dimension tore asunder, someone he would not leave behind under any circumstances. ]

[Jason rolls his eyes, snorting. His whole body relaxes in relief at feeling Loki's body against him once more, feeling his warmth. He missed this, God help him he really did and he's never been good at handling loss. He lets go of the knife.]

Not so 'little', though, am I?

[He takes his time. He reaches to cup Loki's face but doesn't lean in for a kiss immediately. He lets his thumb caress Loki's lower lip, his other hand caressing his cheek like he'd forgotten what his face felt like and needs the reminder. Loki's skin is soft, unfairly soft where Jason's fingers are callused and hard no matter how much he tries to take good care of his skin. But right now it just seems to fit.]

Happy Valentine's, Silver tongue. [And he leans to press their lips together.]

Not so much, no.

[ The way Jason handles him makes Loki feel precious, like he isn't a lying cheater with a bad case of evasive guilt-tripping and wholly unhealthy to be around. It draws out a smile when calloused fingertips drift over his lips, warmth spreading from his innards-out when the well wishing comes with a sweet nickname.

That title means a lot more when Jason uses it. ]

Happy Vee Day.

[ And so will follow one long night of make-up sex with Jason deciding which positions they take because he deserves to be spoiled. ]

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