batmansphoenix | IC Contact

[ There's a note of hope in Jason that sounds (if Loki's ego isn't being too big and he can never really tell) almost selfish. Not only on Loki's behalf, but ... covetous? He can understand that. If anyone tried to do Jason harm, here or elsewhere, they would come up against a formidable godling's wrath. On the cold metal of the observatory where he sits bundled up in Jason's embrace, he studies him and slides slender fingers along a somewhat rough jaw, taking in the sight of him, this man who dropped everything to find him just because he sent a text. His determination for Loki, his possessiveness over him ... and that definitely exists, it's been there from the beginning ... ]

If you asked me to stay for you, I might.

[ He doesn't know how things will turn out down the line, but Jason's desires would prove a powerful incentive all their own. Even if Loki doesn't admit it, hungry loyalty burns behind his stare. ]

Stay.

[The answer is immediate, with no hesitation. Yes, he's selfish, yes, he's possessive. No, he doesn't give a damn right now if it will keep Loki safe in here instead of leaving. He always says the wrong words, always picks the wrong battles to fight and pushes people away by doing the wrong thing but this time he's going to try for honesty. And he honestly wants Loki by his side in here.

And yet, he knows if he makes Loki stay in those terms he'd never forgive Jason once he gets tired of him.]

I want you to stay. But don't do it for me. Stay because you deserve to stay, because you deserve to survive.

[ That draws out a brighter smile, Jason needing no time at all to think about whether he wants Loki around. That's a rare state of affairs with anyone and it was feared the same could be said of this specific man too.

He raises his chin after taking a deep breath, exhaling through a frown. ]

At least, I deserve to die on my own terms ... no one else's.

[ A restless caress drifts down to hook in the front of Jason's collar, tugging him in so their lips brush. All the upset fades, as cyclic a mood-swing as any God of Chaos could hope for and Jason alone is the reason for it this time. The kiss Loki offers is chaste but soft, intimate in the way contact lingers. ]

I want to figure out which part of the omniverse you come from so I can visit you there after this dimension's mischief is done with. I would like to have us fuck in your city, on your turf, and then to have your back on the streets. Fuck you again afterwards when you smell of sweat and leather and gunsmoke. [ A pretty enough fantasy for them, one he suddenly wants to see come true. Noses nuzzle affectionately, Loki's breath warm after soaking up his mortal's body-heat for so long. ] Would you welcome me there?

I'd welcome you on my fucking knees.

[Jason learned his lesson very early on in life. If something is too good to be true then it probably isn't actually true, and those who say don't look at a gift horse in the mouth are frankly naive at best, stupid at worst. If you don't trust a present then don't accept it, simple as that. So he doesn't expect this to actually happen, because Loki visiting in his world falls into the too-good category. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice. They are in a dream world, playing out their fantasies for a glorious reward. What's hoping for a little more, at this point?

So he returns the kiss because he's learning that just because he thinks the dream will end it doesn't mean he can't enjoy it while it's still here. And this... . thing, with Loki is a very enjoyable dream.]

I have a... sidekick, I guess. I don't know if you can call her a friend. [He makes a face, looking away.] She's not even 18, before you get any weird ideas. Never touched her. Anyway. I manipulated her. The current Robin made a mistake, basically abandoned her and left her alone so I took her under my wing because I needed a random partner to get back at Dick.

Except she's not random anymore. She's so bright, so smart, incredibly brave, she's been through so much it's like nothing can break her. And she trust me with her life. They tried to use her as leverage and everyone in the underworld assumed that nothing could get the Red Hood to come out f hiding to protect her. And she kept on telling everyone I'd come, she kept on trusting me. In the end I was willing to ask Batman himself for help to get her back. She's the only one who'd stay by my side. No one in here knows about her, I've told absolutely no one because I'm pretty sure she only exists in my world. [He presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes as if that will make him less scared of risking Sasha's life like this. As if it will make his heart beat any less faster.]

If you do come, maybe you could meet her.

[ He feels for him. Where the earnest affection comes from Loki doesn't know but, as he listens to Jason unravel a little more of himself, it's impossible to ignore what the trusting confidence means. That they are a team. Without a name, perhaps, and that doesn't matter. Jason is letting him in and Loki is right there for the ride sorting away salient details about this mysterious partner under lock and key in his mind. ]

I would love to meet your people.

[ Not only Jason's close family, but those he chooses to align himself with. Folks who, as with Loki, Jason sticks his neck out for when he really needn't. A final kiss seals his answer, grateful in a way he can't express despite his occasional silver-tongue, keen to balance out the equation between them. He tugs at Jason to show they should stand. ]

... Come with me, I want to show you something. We're teleporting there.

[Jason nods, standing up even as he sicks close to Loki. His mind is still reeling from having shared so much, his fingers twitching with the need to take it back in some way and keep Sasha safe. Keep himself safe. 'I need you to trust me', Loki had said. So he's trying.]

Let's go.

[ The teleportation is swift, one of the flash-and-gone types instead of involving smoke.

The air is thick when they arrive at their destination; a dark hall (a lounge) with all the lights and utilities turned off, silence all around save for the rumble of traffic outside. A tram in the not-so far distance. ]

Lights.

[ Illumination glows in a few lamps at the command. This is Loki's second apartment, smaller than the first where Jason was invited with Speed and Magneto but also cosier, despite being unused. The view through the windows speaks of the southern quad in the city. ]

I secretly kept this place after making a big show of throwing a party here and moving in with Billy. It's cloaked on a random rotational axis so it never spends more than a couple of nights in the same quarter, my spells have it exist within a self-contained space so that the numbers of apartments in any building will never account for it, and it can only be found by those blood-warded into the magics that surround it.

[ Jason gave him something, so Loki returns the favour; he flops his hands at his sides, offering up his very own private safe-house. ]

I believe in the sincerity of the Eudites, but old habits die hard.

[For a few moments Jason just looks around, unsure on how to react. The place is so... Loki, which is comforting. And it sounds like the safest (read: hidden) place he'll ever find on Eudio which is always a plus. But the fact that Loki is willing to share it with him, to let him intrude... feels like way too much of a responsibility all of a sudden. Like he's been given a precious gift and he's afraid to drop it.]

Wow. [That's all he can say at first. He's usually eloquent, but he's usually also not shown magical hidden places that need spells with blood to be found. He wants to let Loki know that he understands this gift, that he gets it and will protect the secret with his life is he has to. But he isn't sure how.]

I'm pretty sure this is the most attracted to you I've ever been yet, and the bar was pretty high.

[ His smile broadens with a soft snort, understanding. He always has liked that about Jason, how they have similar ways of expressing their gratitude with misdirection but never insincerity. ]

I can ward you into the spell so that if you know its current address you'll actually be able to find the front door, but I'll need a drop of your blood to do it. Blood-magic is one of the strongest to break — ouch!

[ Startling, he whips up his right hand to see a pin-prick of his own blood on show, his face falling a moment later. Loki sighs, sucking the tiny wound closed. ]

Case in point. [ For Jason's benefit, he glances over despondently. ] That was one of my alarms going off, it means someone I know has left this dimension. Gone home.

[ Without a word to me ... ]

[Jason has already jumped by his side by the time Loki's explaining, his mind reeling for a moment thinking it might be his presence in Loki's magical space that caused this. Then Loki explains himself and he frowns even more. He isn't sure exactly how many people have access in here- probably Billy? Teddy, maybe. Other than that it's just his wild guessing, but he doesn't think it'd be that many people.

Today's shaping up to be a shit-tastic day for Loki, apparently. Jason reaches to place a hand on his shoulder, unsure once again how he's supposed to help.]

Wanna go check who it is?

[ For a moment he looks blankly at Jason, then it hits him; he's close, comforting, all because he cares. It sounds like Loki has no idea who it is. ]

Ah, no. It was the finger for Owen Grady. [ His smile winces at the corners, the intimacy he shared with the raptor-trainer having been distanced of late but no less fond. At least, on Loki's behalf. ] We went on a few dates ... I took him for pizza under the T-Rex skeleton at the museum after-hours, he bought me a fox toy at the carnival when it was here. He was the first man I slept with while a woman. Silly stuff like that.

[ He was important. Shaking his head, Loki steps in closer to Jason to nuzzle along a jaw-line. ]

I have more fingers than people I care to mark the passing of. We can stay.

He sounds pretty fun. [A while ago Jason would have been bothered at the ease Loki shrugs Owen's departure away like it's no skin off his nose. When he'd slept with him as a woman she'd mentioned Jason had only been the second one, made it sound like a special thing, but Loki's tone makes it seem otherwise.

But Jason also knows better, now. He remembers how detached Loki's voice was when he 'broke up' with him that first time, how easily he'd made it sound like he never actually cared right after he'd jumped into the Catacombs to literally puke magic for his family. It sounds a little bit like that now.

He places squeezes his shoulder.]

When I leave, I will tell you before. [He reaches for Loki's hand, wrapping his fingers around his wrist.] So we can say goodbye properly. [And then he places the bleeding finger in his mouth.]

[ Jason understands. It's felt in the way he holds onto a wrist and the touch of a bleeding finger in his mouth, the way he doesn't think twice about how different their biologies are and trusts Loki to tell him.

After a moment basking in the intelligence of his lover, he pulls on a semi-straight face and soberly says, ]

Alas, my blood is poisonous. You're gonna become a monster now, sorry about that.

Edited 2016-03-02 15:33 (UTC)

[Jason hums around his finger before he takes it out with a big lick.]

I was one, once. Had tentacles instead of legs. I don't remember much about it but eventually it just went away? Weirdest shit.

[ There's no point hiding the pulse of arousal that slips straight between his legs when Jason's tongue is used so lewdly, so he really shouldn't be surprised by the slow, easy grind against his thigh as Loki's lashes shutter. ]

Shame, I'm the sort of guy who could appreciate quality tentacle-porn. [ His damp finger hooks in Jason's belt, tugging him in close as another hand slides underneath Jason's jacket, skimming the curve of a clothed spine. ] Then again, you've got enough extra wiggly parts.

You would.

[He lets himself be dragged easily. One hand is wrapping around his waist to pull Loki closer while the other cups his face, grinning as he strokes his cheek with his thumb. He's not good at making people feel better. Even when he actively tried, like with Sasha, all he could do was try not to make things worse and sometimes he actively failed. But Loki looks a little less like he actually wants to jump to his death so he'll take it.]

You sure you'll be okay? [He leans to press a kiss on Loki's lower lip.] This was shitty timing.

[ Nudging his cheek into a warm palm, he closes his eyes as an amused smile fades. A nod follows the kiss. ]

When the Eudites started to bring in off-worlders, after they ran out of power again over a year ago, I was one of the first to arrive. Even back home I was never at the heart of a social melting pot, so I'm accustomed to the brevity that comes with the people in my life and it bothers me little that the companions I make here are all I'll likely ever have. This place reinforces loss as much as it promises gain, Jason, you should remember that. Guard your heart.

[ The collected facade fractures a little as his lips take a down-turn at the edges, less a god than a lonely man. ]

That's why it matters when you say you'll give me a goodbye.

I promise I will.

[As soon as the words leave his lips he regrets them. He shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have promised. A promise makes it real, makes it almost tangible and with the possibility to be broken. He sighs, burying his face on Loki's hair.] As long as it's up to me and I don't leave abruptly, I'll tell you.

[That should be enough. But it doesn't feel like it. He's still put himself in a position where he can disappoint Loki and when if he can, then it's only a matter of time before he will. But all he can do is make sure to tell Loki before he leaves.]

But as long as you're here I can't see myself being in a rush to leave.

[ The promise hurts; others did the same, others broke their word. The decision to leave was supposed to be up to them too and now look where they are. Nowhere to be found in this dimension. But ... Jason gathers him in like no one else has in recent years and Loki finds himself wrapped around him in return, unwilling to let go. Longing to believe.

A sad laugh leaves him, all the same. ]

Clearly you have a very compassionate family, that's why such a mish-mash of them are being brought here — every version of them seems to have somebody willing to help a different realm. It's also the reason so few of mine have lingered. [ A deep sigh buffets through his chest. ] You'd leave me behind if they truly needed you, Jason, and I can't even see a fair way to be angry at you about it because I understand ... and I want you to keep them.

[ Jason feels more like a brother than the Odinson has in a long time, an unsettling turn of events. On the other hand, Loki was never the child trickster that Thor assumed and only worthy of his hatred from the moment the truth was out, regardless of any lack of autonomy on Loki's part when it came to killing the boy. Those first few moments after the murder were excruciating as he condemned himself, choked on Magpie-blood and guilt that would be suppressed for over a year.

No one wants Loki as he is. No one but Jason, perhaps.

It's dark in the room as a hot wealth of tears smear against Jason's skin, rubbed away without ever sniffling or making a noise. All he does is take in steadying deep breaths, swallow down hard against the rising lump in his throat, and memorise the feeling of being wanted — it's so foreign that he can shut out everything but the strong encircling arms and the warm puff of Jason's breath, the beat of his heart, with relative ease. He hates that, too. Isn't he pathetic? ]

I wish I had been born on your world, with you.

I'm finding that situation kinda hard to buy. [Leaving Loki behind to save people in his family seems like an impossibility right now, so out-there it makes him want to laugh at the absurdity of it. But Loki wanting him back after Dick had also felt like one and he's holding him in his arms right now, so. Maybe he needs to kind of reevaluate his life.]

And I defiitely don't. If you'd been born there you wouldn't be you. [Gotham is his city. Part of who he is. He'd never leave Gotham just like he can never leave Batman behind, and he loves it with the same fierceness he puts behind everything. But it's still a shithole. It's obviously not that Loki wouldn't survive, Jason can't even begin to imagine the situation it'd take to destroy Loki and he doesn't want to. It's just that when he did, he'd be different. Wouldn't be the same guy taking pictures with Jason, teleporting him around, sacrificing his body to give Jason a truth potion. He's so insanely loyal, and Jason isn't worthy of it but he actually wants to be.

He runs a hand up and down is back. His mother did that, when he cried.]

But if you could, I'd want you there. Keep you there. I'd fuck you in every available surface and then get a new safehouse to start over again, you fucking me this time.

I'd feel safe for the first time in forever if you had my back.

[ That Jason prefers him as Loki is strikes a fond chord with the Asgardian for a dozen reasons that would confuse the oblivious Gothamite with no real knowledge of Loki's history, warmed from the inside-out. Soothed by the way he is held, his breathing calms and against all the miserable weight in his chest a laugh bubbles out at the provided imagery (so very Jason). Something soft and wounded turns to steel in his gut as he internally swears not to lose this man to the endless expanse of the Omniverse. Loki absolutely won't so a plan will be concocted inside the next few days to satisfy his resolve. ]

I have your back on this world. I promise with acres of cherries of top, as the saying goes.

[ Easing back enough to see him, a tug starts again at Jason's beltloops. This time, Loki leads him down toward the bedroom in the semi-darkness of the apartment and the levity of his reply doesn't quite match the frank appreciation in green eyes. ]

Might we sleep together? Literally, this time. I'm ... weary.

[ Heartsick. ]

[Jason hesitates for a second. It's not like they don't do a lot of pillow talk, but actually 'sleeping' is a completely different concept. It's not that he doesn't do it often, it's that he doesn't do it at all. The hesitation lasts for less than a millisecond, though, because after all he's shared putting up that kind of walls between them for no reason seems ridiculous.]

Sure, whatever you want.

[He lets himself be dragged to the bedroom.] But I don't have any clothes to sleep in in here.

[ That draws out a snort and a chuckle. ]

Good, I prefer you naked in all things.

[Jason grins, glad to see some of the tension ease up from Loki. There's no way, in his mind, that he's already okay after he was crying in his chest just a few moments ago. But if this is a first step, he'll take it. He tosses his jacket away to the nearest surface, reaching for the edge of his shirt.]

Yeah? So I can't keep my underwear on, Mr demanding?

Underwear is forbidden in the bedroom.

[ A rule he might have just now made up but one to his benefit. He definitely isn't okay but the aptitude for lying and chaotic leanings helps him shift his misery to the side in favour of smiles and sex as easily as some snap their fingers. Besides, the sight of Jason stripping is enough to warm every inch of Loki from head to toe, and a few in between.

He divests his clothes in an untidy pile, rolling his way under the thick duvet into the cold hub of a huge bed. ]

Get in, come on. It's chilly.

[ Not that the cold has ever bothered Loki. He simply prefers the warmth of a lover, specifically this one. ]

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