batmansphoenix | IC Contact

[Ah, yes. Where's the bucket he'd mentioned he needed when talking with Bruce? He could make use of it now because this entire situation is pretty disgusting and he doesn't even know where o start. The more he talks to Twin the more he keeps losing himself on him, making it as personal as it gets.]

Or maybe he ran away because he didn't feel like seeing you break your own arm to try to get to him.

[ wow it was a great plan ok he doesn't know why everyone looks so squeamish about him trying to coax the joker out by acting like he wants to see him again ]

I'm the only one doing anything about it. I'm the only one even trying to find out if he's infected and hiding it.

That's because it's impossible for him to be infected in here. I'm trying to help you because I know it's important to you but I'm not going to pretend like I believe it. He can't be. If he were- well, you said so yourself.

The Joker wouldn't have been able to resist.

[ and there's the thing. he'd put himself in bruce's power for over eight hours and failed to get a reaction, and it's unlikely the joker would've been able to control his urges-- unless bruce's explanation that the joker never gave a shit about him at all happens to be true. in which case, jason isn't good enough bait when the joker already has what he wants.

he grits his teeth. ]

B told me that the Joker never gave a shit about me. Forgot about me the moment something distracted him, that everything was always about Batman. It's possible that what I did just wasn't enough to interest him.

[ it's horrible, but that had actually hurt to hear. that he's so worthless even the supervillain that kidnapped and conditioned him had eventually just lost interest. ]

[Jason pauses, unsure on how to reply to that. Because Bruce wasn't wrong: the Joker never really cared about Jason Todd. No one really does. It's always all about Batman.]

Even if that were true... [Which it is, and if he asks him directly he will say so.] you were still right there, easy for him to take. Maybe he gets distracted easily but you served it to him in a silver platter.

I'm sure he Joker has forgotten me but if someone were to throw me at his feet with a crowbar do you think he'd hesitate?

No. No, he wouldn't. But if I'm wrong, if I trust that he's not infected...

[ it's an irrational fear. the arkham knight is dangerous and paranoid and perfectly capable of defending himself with deadly force. but he's still afraid of some moment, some hypothetical scenario where he needs bruce to be bruce, and he sees bruce's eyes turn green and his mouth stretch into that awful fucking grin.

his gaze finds the floor, and softly, ]

I can't do it again. He's depending on me to be able to pull the trigger if the time comes, but if he gets the drop on me?

Then I'll do it.

[Because it feels like the right thing to do. The right answer to give. He doesn't want to kill Bruce, not anymore. He's still angry but he's accepted he doesn't want to take Bruce's life, that doing so would provide him no satisfaction and he told Talia that much.

But if he was turning into the Joker? Hell yeah he would. Right on the head.]

Do you think I'd let that happen?

[ and he immediately flashes back to angry defensiveness. ]

Do you think you could really stop him? I thought I could. I failed.

Then I would fail too, but I'd still try. I'm Mr Failure, Twinsie, do you really think I'm afraid of not getting it right?

I'm just saying you have someone else that has your back if you're right about this infection thing. It'll be harder for him to beat two of us.

[ it's the first time someone has really offered to help, rather than laying out what they all thought was inarguable evidence that bruce couldn't be infected. he still eyes jason warily, not sure he wants to trust someone who doesn't really believe him and is only paying lip service.

abruptly, ]

If I'm right about the infection, I could be manipulating you. Maybe I really am crazy and I want the clown back. Maybe I'd do anything, even give you to him as a gift, to get him to remember me.

When the Bruce in my world died, I made my own bat-suit. I decided I was the only one worthy of wearing the cowl because I was willing to cross the line. I felt- I feel, that I'm the only one who actually takes Gotham seriously enough to that. I asked practically everyone in the clan to be my robin, and when they refused I nearly killed them.

I'm not the only one taking a leap of faith here.

I kidnapped Oracle. I-- she got hurt because of me.

[ he'll absolutely understand if this makes jason punch him immediately in the face. it's what he deserves for losing control of that situation.

but what he's not going to do is establish any kind of truce or tentative partnership with someone who is going to freak the fuck out the moment they hear about everything he's done. if all a jokerized batman has to say is "by the way, did he tell you what he did to barbara gordon?" to faze someone in battle, then they've already lost. ]

[That gets him a hard look because fuck you, Evil Twin. Babs is the one thing you're not supposed to touch. He does ball his hands into fists, but doesn't actually make any movements to attack him.]

Feel any guilt about that? You know she didn't deserve it.

[ gosh it's like they're the same person since that just makes jay's hands clench into fists in response. ]

It wasn't supposed to happen the way it did. You said you wanted to hear my side, not just Batman's.

[He doesn't deflate, but he does look slightly less tense as he bites his inner cheek. Okay, fair enough.]

Tell me your side of the story then.

[ ok. ok. now he actually has to talk about it. he can do this, it's fine, the worst that will happen is his own alternate self will hate him and turn on him and iT'S FINE

he has to take a minute to get started, resisting the urge to give into his anxiety tics like pacing or yanking at his hair to ground himself. talking about the joker earlier had already gotten him riled up.

abruptly, ]

I knew shit was going to hit the fan when I came back. The city was supposed to be evacuated of civilians but she didn't go. I thought-- it was stupid, but I thought maybe Gordon would just send some blues to escort her out no matter how much she yelled. I thought maybe B would order her to go.

I had to go get her myself. Crane was too interested in who I was, what my grudge against Batman was, he kept pressing. She was supposed to be kept out of the way as a high value hostage, to hold over Batman and the GCPD, but every time I turned around he was looking at her. I gave orders that no one was allowed in the room with her except me and I found him in there with her. And she-- she threw herself out of a fucking moving car to get away from me, caused the car to wreck and killed the driver, and the men wanted revenge for it. I had to make them more afraid of me than pissed at her.

[ none of the batfamily gives a shit about this part, where crane had started to pick up on his anxieties and play to them, inquiring oh so gently about his plans for batman and his allies where the militia could hear. it had never been his fucking idea to expose barbara to fear toxin. ]

[Jason just... slowly nods. It's not that he agrees, and there's a ton of things he would have done differently. And who'd ever think that Babs ever listens to Bruce when he tells her to stay out anyway? That plan was obviously going to backfire eventually. But he can see that Twin didn't actually want to hurt Barbara, that wasn't his end goal. And it's not like he hasn't fucked up himself.

He hurt most of the family just to keep on being Batman. And unlike Twin, his end goal was to hurt them. Who's he to judge?]

What happened to her after that? Is she ok in your world?

She's fine. Back with him, safe and sound.

[ he doesn't sound bitter about that at all. ]

It got out of control. [ no, that's a cop-out, and he forces himself to admit it. ] I let things get out of control. Crane used fear toxin to make B think she'd killed herself in front of him, but she was the trump card to control Gordon. When that didn't work... he tied her to her wheelchair and pushed her off the roof.

[ now he sounds furious, his voice thick with hate and frustration and a definite amount of self-loathing. ]

I wasn't there. Crane took over the militia, my militia, told them I was unstable and set them to hunt me. I was trying to get to her past tanks and soldiers and drones that I'd brought in myself, in patrol patterns I came up with to stop the Bat.

He saved her.

[Jason reaches to pinch the bridge of his nose with a loud sigh. He fucked up, but it seems like Twin is aware of that so he's not going to press it. The fact that he put Babs in such a risk still leaves a bad taste in his mouth but it's not like he is any better. He's not going to pretend he hasn't done worse, and willingly.]

I'm still on your side.

[ flat, ]

Why? Nobody else is.

Someone should be.

[He shrugs. He really doesn't know how to explain it. He doesn't care to explain it. All he knows is that he looks at Twin and sees himself.] And you might not be me, but it's close enough that I want to have your back.

Yeah? Are you sure you're not still looking for a Robin?

[That makes him grin.] Not a Robin, no.

But a partner? Maybe.

[ a-ah. somehow he wasn't expecting hearing the words out loud to cause the twinge they do. his partner is batman and he'll never take another one-- or so he'd told himself. ]

Your last partner got you killed.

[Oh, fuck you Twin. Jason doesn't glare, but it's a very close thing and his eyes turn a more dangerous shade of green.]

The Joker got me killed. I never, ever blamed B for that.

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